Being bummed by life; stressed, unhappy, miserable, desperate, is all too common for young people. What do our kids do with this stress? How do they deal with this emotional ups and downs? Do they talk to you about any of this? Who do they talk to? Who’s giving them advise on how to cope? Is it possible that they have actually taken steps to deal with stress on their own, with the advice of their friends?
One very common way to deal with this is to experiment with a M.A.C. (Mood Altering Chemical) Some kids try it and find out that they don’t like it or they can take it or leave it.
Some will however discover the complete opposite. For them it can be a discovery of a life time, Bliss. They love the way it makes them feel. When I speak to groups of students about shifting from being Bummed to experiencing Bliss, they know what I’m talking about, they get it. They will even site specific times when they experienced this shift.
This swing from Bummed to Bliss is the Critical Point of the Loving to Get High Syndrome. It’s as if the Heavens opened up and they discovered a whole new way of living. What used to be a problem has now disappeared. What caused stress no longer exists, (at least now, at this very moment). This is not figured out on an academic level, they actually experience the emotional relief from getting high.
As a parent we can’t compete with this powerful dynamic of swinging from bummed to bliss, if we try we will lose. It is also ineffective to try to talk them out of it. Their mind is set. They love the way this makes them feel.
I’m not saying that it is hopeless. The swing from Bummed to Bliss, comes with natural consequences. It’s our job to let this happen, allow them to feel the pain, to experience the consequences. More than that it’s our job to open our eyes and see what’s really going on. We are not helping anyone by staying in denial, by pretending that our son/daughter is not getting high and loving it.
The path out of this mess takes courage, understanding and tough love. (and of course, attending a support group like Alanon.) Kids deserve a normal life, not the roller-coaster ride that getting high provides, even if the bliss is worth the price of admission.
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